Monday, July 14, 2008

Rest in Peace, Dear Sampson





Today, my dog died. He was laying in the back office, when I heard his nails skittering on the hardwood. I went to find out what he was up to, fully expecting to find him trying to catch a fly or something. He was spread out on the floor, rapidly breathing, eyes dilated and not seeing me. I called my husband immediately. I had no idea what to do. I quickly cleaned up a bit of dog poo, I thought he had had a seizure of some sort, and then I tried to rouse him from his stupor. He was not responding. I called my husband and told him to hurry. I placed him on a blanket and dragged him to the elevator. My husband arrived shortly, he ran all the way home. We took him to the veterinary hospital, they took him right away and eventually the vet told us that he most likely had a cancerous tumour that had burst on his spleen. Internal bleeding. The x-rays confirmed this and we were left to decide as to what measures to take next. Stabilize him by transfusion and then surgery at a specialist's office in Burnaby. My husband went to call his friend to have him bring his dog down as there was no blood available at the dog blood bank. Two minutes later, the vet rushed back in and said that Sampson was not going to make it. We ran in to his side. I put my hand on his neck and he placed his paw around my wrist, gasping for air. We made the decision to euthanize and that was that. We spoke to him, nuzzled him and told him that mummy and daddy loved him so much, he was a good dog. I chanted as much as I could. And then he was gone. I had to be dragged away from him. I collapsed outside, sobbing.


We are numb. We've been crying all afternoon. I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe he's gone. He was gone within an hour. My big bear. He had a lot of nicknames. Baby Bear, Baby Boy, Big Boy, Hammers (as in dumb as a sack of hammers), Papa, etc. I knew that this day would come. But not today. Not today. He had a good walk this morning and now he's gone. A part of my family has died today. My husband is walking around in a daze.


We loved him so much.


45 comments:

Mrs.X said...

Oh honey, I am so, so sorry - and for it to be so sudden! My thoughts are with you on this devastating day.

dmarie said...

I'm so very, very sorry.

luna said...

oh I am so so sorry. I am bawling my eyes out here. I know that awful feeling of losing your best friend so suddenly. they are such incredible faithful companions, loving us unconditionally like no other. this sorrow is the price we inevitably pay for opening our hearts to their love. I know sampson must have had a very happy life with you. I'm so sorry.

loribeth said...

Oh, Deathstar, I'm so sorry!! :( He was a beautiful dog.

Anonymous said...

I am de-lurking because I want you to know how truly, deeply sorry I am for your loss. I believe that animals have souls and that we will meet them again. Again, I am so sorry.

Wordgirl said...

Oh Deathstar,

Oh. I have tears in my eyes here. I am so, so terribly sorry. Those words don't to this feeling justice -- I wish I could be there to offer comfort in person.

Oh Sampson. I'm so sorry.

Love,

Pam

Wordgirl said...

Oh Deathstar,

Oh. I have tears in my eyes here. I am so, so terribly sorry. Those words don't to this feeling justice -- I wish I could be there to offer comfort in person.

Oh Sampson. I'm so sorry.

Love,

Pam

Baby Steps to Baby Shoes said...

I am so very sorry about the loss of your dear, dear friend.

Fertilized said...

i am very sorry to read about your tragic loss

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I am so incredibly sorry, sweetie.

Lori said...

Sending you and Sampson warm thoughts of light and unity.

Carrie said...

Oh Sweetie, I am so very sorry. I know what a relationship you have lost and it makes me so very heavy hearted for you.
I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to your friend. He was a beautiful boy.

emilythehopeless said...

i am so very sorry. {hugs}

Amy said...

I am crying with you as I know how hard it is to lose a faithful friend. I'm so sorry for your loss...take the time to grieve, and don't let anyone tell you he was "just a dog" because you know better.

Foreverhopeful said...

OH my gosh, I'm so so sorry. I'm in tears. I'm just getting caught up and my jaw just dropped. I'm just so shocked and so sad. Thinking of you.

Gumby said...

OH NO! I'm so sorry. I had a similar experience with my cat who went into liver failure. Another rush to the vet and a very hard decision needing to be made in seconds.
It's so hard isn't it? But you made the right choice. Don't let yourself believe otherwise. You couldn't do anything but stop his suffering. Anything else would just have been prolonging the inevitable and his pain.
You did the only thing you could - stop his suffering. And now he's in peace.
I'm tearing up right now and can't stop... I'm just so so sorry. :(

Teendoc said...

I am just so very sorry for your loss. Our pets are our children in a way, and when we lose them, the grief is horrific. I wish there was something I could do to help you.

Searching said...

Oh, this has me bawling... My own beloved black lab had to be euthanized 1 1/2y ago but it seems like yesterday. It hurts and I'm so sorry. Sending you plenty of hugs.

Jennifer said...

I'm crying too - I can't imagine the pain you and your husband are in right now. I don't think I would have been able to handle myself any better, given the situation...I'm so sorry!

Tash said...

Unbelievably sorry. What a beautiful dog.

tickintime said...

I'm so sorry. Devastating, completely devastating to loose a fur baby. I know ...we lost our furbaby to cancer just 6 weeks ago.

The days get easier and your memories more vivid. Sampson will always be on your mind and in your heart.

You and Dh are in my thoughts and prayers.

tobacco brunette said...

Oh! So, so sorry. As soon as I saw his pix I just started bawling. He was gorgeous.

I know how much it hurts to lose a beloved pet. No words can make you feel better, but still...I'm so sorry for your loss.

Michell said...

I'm so very sorry. I wish I had something else to say. Take care of you. Hugs.

Portraits In Sepia said...

Oh, My heart dropped when I read the title to this post and I am choked up as I write this. I am so sorry for your loss. So sorry. Thanks for sharing the pictures of your beloved pet. My heart hurts for you.

Manda said...

I'm over from Lost and Found... You don't know me, but I had to let you know that I'm here, crying right along with you. I'm so so sorry that you lost your sweet Sampson - and at the same time, your best friend. He was obviously very loved. I'm just sorry.

Just Me. said...

I'm so so sorry.

Tigger said...

Oh no. Oh hun. I have no words. I almost burst into tears reading your post. I take back the almost part - the tears are rolling as I write. I have no words, no way to comfort...except a huge hug and a shoulder.

Soupy said...

I am so terribly sorry. I don't know you, but found you through stirrup queens. I am an animal/dog lover, and just reading about your experience broke my heart. I hope and pray that Sampson is frolicing now on the Rainbow Bridge and know that someday, you will be reunited! Hugs.

midlife mommy said...

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Hugs to you.

annacyclopedia said...

Oh, sweetheart! I'm so sorry. Just looking at his sweet face makes my heart break a little, knowing he's not there with you anymore. May you be granted peace and comfort as you grieve this huge loss.

JamieD said...

I am so, so sorry. My cats are my children and as they get older, I try not to think what the end will be like.

When I read your post, I got a lump in my throat and tears sprang to my eyes. I wish there was something I could do to relieve your pain as Sampson was clearly loved so much.

You and your husband are in my thoughts.

Pamela Jeanne said...

no, No, NO!!! This is beyond explanation or words. So very, very, very sorry.

Mourning with you...

MLO said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.

journey to junior said...

from one dog owner/lover to another...i am so, deeply sorry. i am in tears thinking about how awful this must be for you and your DH.

Egged Out said...

I'm so sorry. Our old little dog died 10 days ago and it was unbearably difficult. It was so painful and I miss her so much. The first few days are the worst -coming home and no dog waiting to greet you. It does get better. I'm sorry for your loss.

little e... said...

My tears are for you and your husband as I'm so very sorry for your loss. Dogs are just as much a part of the family as any person, and anyone who says otherwise clearly has never experienced that wonderful bond.

My heart goes out to you!

Miss said...

I am so very sorry for you loss! I'm crying here with you as I understand how difficult this is and how much you and your husband love your little buddy. My thoughts are with you both.

birdsandsquirrels said...

I'm so very sorry about Sampson. I'm crying right now too. My sister had to put our 19 year old cat to sleep a few months ago because of cancer, and it just broke all of our hearts. I know it hurts really badly right now, but it will get better. Thank goodness you were there with him and were able to take him to the vet, and be with him as he passed.

Zee said...

I'm so sorry. I'm sobbing for you over here. That's so terrible, I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry.

jodie38 said...

I'm so unbelievably sorry for your loss. I read your post with my heart in my throat.....so sudden. He had a wonderful life with you, and he was dearly loved. It's so hard. My thoughts are with you both.....

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my sweet cat very similarly, it was so sudden and I was in shock. It took a year for the grief to lift and for me to start to feel "normal" again, although I still miss him dearly. Our pets are our family.

Barely Sane said...

OMG... I am SO SO SO sorry to read this.

Big heartfelt cyber hug.

Wishing 4 One said...

Oh no, so so so sorry to read about Sampson. I can't imagine how hard it must be. Please know that I am thinking of you and your husband.

chicklet said...

Ugh, I'm so so sorry to hear that. I know how much you loved Sampson, you could read it in how you wrote about him.

OHN said...

Deathstar I am so sorry. Our beloved dogs love us unconditionally and ask nothing but love in return. Anyone that has ever loved their dog and lost them, knows the depth of the feelings you are having. I have sobbed in the vet parking lot more than once and it is horrid. Sampson was beautiful and had wonderful eyes. My heart goes out to you.