Thursday, November 27, 2008

Slipping away

Back home. So good to be home. I must say he keeps a cleaner house than I do. My plants are not doing so good and there's no food in the fridge, but the house is clean. Couldn't ask for more. Except for my husband who left today for a business trip. Sigh.

I'm glad I went to be with D. I suppose it will be the last time I will see her. By the time I left she was not really eating, she could barely swallow her morphine pills and her eyes were often glazed and unfocused. Before I left, I had her name a friend who could be her point person. I had called her friends together to decide who could cover the gaps in the home support schedule. I printed out phone numbers and put lists on bulletin boards. The nurse came again and asked her all the tough questions. Surprisingly she wanted to be recessitated if necessary. I'm not sure why she said that since she had refused once again to be hospitalized. I called her sister in the West Indies and made sure she knew she had to come immediately.

I woke her up to say goodbye and told her that I loved her and she told me that she couldn't tell me how much she loved me. That's when my tears began to fall. Her friend, another Buddhist who chants nam myo ho renge kyo, held me in her arms and said daimoku for me and then I left.

I'm still getting reports, her sister has finally arrived. She is getting weaker every day and I don't suppose she will last much longer without hospitalization. Her ancestors are calling her and it won't be me that wishes her to stay.

Now I know why I was meant to be there. To bring everyone together. She refused to ask for help so I did it for her. I called and they came. She is so loved.


luna said...

this brings tears to my eyes. I know how awful it is to watch someone slip away like that, to see someone once vibrant be so helpless and weak. I'm so sorry.

you did such a beautiful thing with your care and strength and will to bring her loved ones around. it must have been really hard to say goodbye. much peace and light to you and your friend.

Wordgirl said...

Oh Deathstar,

I have to echo Luna -- the beauty and the strength of what you were able to give to your friend -- it IS the reason we are here -- that love when its hardest to love, when it shakes our own foundations.

You are, and I mean this truly, an inspiration to me. I have learned so much from you in coming to this blog -- I'm sending you love and warmth from this cold place where I am to you.



loribeth said...

So glad you were able to see your friend again, & rally people around her for when you could not be there. We could all use a friend like you in our lives!

annacyclopedia said...

I am just overwhelmed with your strength and generosity. It is a huge gift you have given your friend, to respond to a need that she could not or would not meet herself, and to ensure that she would continue to be cared for by people who love her.

Wishing you peace. For D, too.