Maybe I need meds.....

Okay, it's been crazy busy for me the last couple of weeks. I actually had 4 auditions in a row and then some typing work. Wow, that's pretty busy for me these days. And also my hubby was in and out of town twice in a week and then he left again for Toronto yesterday for one day. So I had double duty with my dog and my mum. I took them both for a walk yesterday afternoon. Then off to a to attend a two evening business of acting/personal coaching workshop. Oh, yeah, and I'm casting a play.

So I decide to make my hubby a comforting curry vegetable dish for when he comes home. He's been very tired and run down and preoccupied with work lately, so I really wanted to welcome him home with the smell of a lovely curry dish to warm his belly. And it went well, but it was a bit of a pain because I have no running water in the kitchen. Before he knew he had to leave, I did mention that maybe we should get a plumber to fix the leaky kitchen faucet (which got worse after he tampered with it), but as soon as I said that I realized it that he was just going to take that as a challenge - what and pay over $100 just to fix a leaky faucet and then pay for parts?! Nooooo, I'll just take a little look and see.... fast forward to a dismantled faucet in pieces that will have to wait til he gets back and ...... sigh. So for 2 days, I've been carrying water back and forth from the bathroom and washing dishes and cleaning mushrooms and various vegetables in my spa tub. And boiling water to clean the sink. I mean "it's not like we don't have enough faucets and water in the apartment". I'm not cooking this weekend or any other time, until I get my kitchen sink back, one way or the other.

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I have to tell you this... a couple of weeks ago, I lost my cell phone. Yeah, I know. Horribly, horribly inconvenient. With all my precious numbers for all the precious people I know. I searched high and low, driving around to all the places I had been and of course, that day, I had been to about 5 different places, but nada. So because my stupid 3 year contract is over at the end of the year, my only options were to get a new cell phone for free - which meant I had to sign another 3 year contract or use an old cell phone I had in the back of my drawer. It's an old bar phone with a light up green screen and I can't text with it. Nor does it vibrate or have a silent ringer. Either way, I had to pay a bill for 2 more months, phone or no phone. I don't intend of staying with my current carrier. Why couldn't they just give me a loaner phone? Why not? Because they're bastards, that's why. And then they'll pester me with dinner time phone calls trying to get my business back even though I've been a loyal customer for years.

Anyways, earlier this week, I misplaced my hat, which I love, it's the best reversible cozy hat I have for wet weather. I searched all over the apartment, I usually just leave it on the coat rack in the foyer. I kept looking there as if it had temporarily rendered itself invisible. It was just one of those days, when I felt unsettled all day. On edge. I sat in my bedroom closet and cried. Just sobbed my guts out. I thought there was something terribly, terribly wrong with me. When you have a mother with dementia, every lost or misplaced item, brings on a wave of nauseous fear that you too are losing it and pretty soon you'll have to post notes all around the house and check the knobs on the gas stove 10 times before you leave the house. Then I cleaned the house and put everything in its place. I calmly recalled the last occasion I had to wear it and then I figured I left it at a directors' meeting. I had dashed out to pick up my husband at the airport. I emailed the producer and sure enough, it was there. She had spoken to me earlier but had forgotten to tell me! She said it was "baby brains" (she had a kid earlier this year.)

Tonight, I went out after the workshop with the girls to have a drink and some sushi and went I went to pay my bill with my debit card, I realized I didn't have it. Had another one, so I paid the bill and left. Yes, I looked all around my messy purse, but I always leave it in the same place in my card stuffed wallet. I came home, looked around the purse, checked two other purses and then decided to check my web banking to confirm when I had last used it. At a gas station. Checked my wallet again and it dawned on me that my air miles card was also missing. Okay, no panicking and fear this time, just mentally retraced my steps. Yes, I had used both cards to prepay at a gas station and then - you guessed it - slipped them into the pocket of another ooat. Checked the pockets and there they were. Had I been in a rush? Of course. When am I not?

Here's the clincher - we scheduled our next social worker appointment on our wedding anniversary. And I figured it out yesterday. Sigh. We need a break.

Maybe I should be on the lookout for other perimenopausal, potential adoptive, infertile women. Where do they hang out again?