Thursday, November 22, 2007

A man's point of view

I went back to the doctor to discuss my test results, and phew, no diabetes, but I am anemic. Just how anemic is another blood test. Having fibroids, thus excessive bleeding during menstruation, makes it worse. Well, I have been waking up exhausted for so long that I'm used to it, but it's back on the iron citrate train for me. I stopped taking it at some point and the basic multivitamin doesn't cut it. I started taking this after a naturopath prescribed it for me as it's as effective as the basic iron, but no constipation side effect. It is however way more expensive. So the thyroid levels are fine, so that's not stopping me from losing weight, just good old slow ass metabolism, I guess. I seem to have picked up a stubborn dry cough,too.

During my hours of surfing, I started looking for blogs on marriage difficulties and I found this old one by a 40ish year old guy. Now, granted it was all from his perspective but I found it compelling that once he had made up his mind to leave, that was that. He had been depressed and miserable with his wife and mother of his child. They stopped having sex after the birth of their child. That really seemed to be the issue for him. According to him she wasn't the woman he married anymore. Once he worked up wth nerve to tell her he wanted to leave, he just wanted to get on with his life so he could be happy again and wanted her to do the same. She did not want a divorce however, but apparently it went as amicably as could be expected. Not once did he mention why he married her in the first place. He never spoke about the love he once had for her or what they shared. I did get the sense he thought he had been sold a bill of goods, to speak and that women misrepresent themselves and then once they marry, they turn into someone else.

Mmmm, interesting. Is this representative of how men think? I was talking to a male friend and he said men find it easier to move on and following a breakup they're often re-coupled within months, and it takes women years to get over things. They just check out at some point and then justify why things are "over".

I certainly hope that's not what going on in my husband's head. He's been very articulate with me about how he feels, and he makes a lot of sense. I don't want things to go on like they have in the past though. I want to see this a sign that we can make things better. I'd like improve my health, get my groove back and live life to the fullest. I want to fulfill all my dreams and be strong and independent so that no matter what happens, I'm not left feeling like I can't take care of myself.

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