Thursday, September 18, 2008


We had an enquiry for a child that we submitted our profile for but I haven't heard anything. So. Mmmm, I think I need to do something constructive - like paint the 2nd bedroom or something.

I'm hanging in there on the Effexor, yawning fits and jaw clenching aside. Checked in with the doctor today, feeling a little fuzzy but okay. I'm feeling okay which is better than pinging off the walls or feeling anxious. Mind you, I got a lot done when I was jumping out of my skin. I feel a little like the weather today, overcast but warm. It's only been a couple of weeks so I have to be patient and then check back in. I was on my way to Starbucks to pick up a coffee and across the street I spied a lovely black lab with a graying muzzle tied up to a tree. He was curled up in a ball and had the saddest brown eyes. You just know I had to go over. My heart was in my throat. I put out my hand and he sniffed it and I gave him a little pat. When I went inside I asked if anyone owned him and I talked briefly with his owner. He described his dog as having the same gentle nature as mine did. Of course, I started to cry as I told him that I had recently lost my beloved black lab. He was so sweet. I went back outside and scratched and petted him. He had the same reaction as my dog used to. He accepted the attention but looked around for his owner.

As I walked back to my car, I could not stop crying. Yep, I'm fine. Just missing the big furball.

By the way, I've got these frigging bugs in my kitchen cupboards that I can't seem to get rid off. I think they're those bugs that you find in flour and I've thrown out a ton of stuff and wiped down all the cupboards, but they're still there!!! Do I spray with whole kitchen with Raid or what????


luna said...

best of luck with the inquiry!

I found myself drawn to other dogs that looked like ours for a while. still so hard to miss their love.

Wordgirl said...

My mom bought her place up north and it had some pest issues and she called a professional which totally worked.

I think about you so and Sampson so often. My heart is with you.

I'm so grateful for your thoughts and support -- it really helps me think things through.

I'm glad to hear about the inquiry-- a project would be perfect -- something to dive into for awhile...

Are you still chanting? Does it help to be within a community?



Natika said...

Gonna sound strange but do you have Fennel Seed in your cupboard? I had the same problem and it was coming from my spice rack. They were in the Fennel. Good Luck! Bugs SUCK!

Deathstar said...


Thank you for your thoughts. I will email you a response.

Deathstar said...

No fennel seeds, but I've gone through the spices and thrown out the open bags - they're not beetles, but tiny little things. Effing hell, I think I'm going to have to pull everything out AGAIN and spray with pesticide. Gross!!!!

OHN said...

We had the same bugs last summer. I went to the hardware store and got traps that were sticky on the inside and have a small pheromone tab on attracts the bugs then they get is embarrassing but I caught hundreds of them. The traps are harmless to you (I won't use pesticides) and you may have to buy 2 or 3 of them but I will keep one in my pantry always now! (they are "active" for a couple of months in attracting the bugs with the pheromones).