Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Mother and child

My husband's nephew wanted to see his mum. DH tracked down some numbers and calls were made. Today I chanted for him to make a connection with his mother. She called 5 minutes later.

I went along with them to the neutral spot they had picked. I knew who she was when she smiled and her eyes went straight to him. It was like one of those classic tearful reunions on Oprah. They embraced, eyes closed, I looked away, overwhelmed with emotion. I faded away and went to the drugstore to look around. DH left him to go with his mum and other relatives. Of course, I was worried. In the past, there were threats of coming to "get" him, etc. but it was a long time ago and now he was grown. He's part Native and doesn't know anything about his heritage and for years he didn't want to. Then he looked into the face of a woman who looked like him. He has a sister, a brother, cousins. I wondered if it would be too emotionally overwhelming for him but he was eager to go visit.

I also had to wonder if my future adopted child would have a reunion like that with his biological mother. Or would she stay regularly in touch?

DH gave him his phone and told him to call when he wanted to come home. As I've said, he's pretty quiet and doesn't divulge much to anyone except my husband. He knew he would call soon. He checked in with him a short time later and learned they had to take a bus to get to the mum's sister's home. He thought it was time that he made the choice to form his own opinions about his mother. Frankly, I've never heard anything good about her, but there's always another side to the story. Apparently she had been looking around for him on Facebook and MySpace and such. If she looked, at least she cared. If she responded so quickly to relatives' calls, she must love him. That means something. No matter what happened in the past, all judgments aside, there is an undeniable pull between mother and child.

I could see what it meant to him to see his looks reflected in another, his heritage, so long ignored. He wanted to know, he needed to know if she would be there for him.

I wonder if she knows how truly lucky she is.


luna said...

so interesting. hope it went well for him. I wonder about reunions like that too.

Anonymous said...

Wow. What an intense moment to bear witness to.

Wordgirl said...

That moment of birth mother and child... I imagine it must have been incredibly emotional...

I wonder about all those same things.



loribeth said...

I hope she does too. And I hope things continue to go well between them.