Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Maybe baby

Okay, I thought I'd have more to tell you by now, but I don't, so... looks like we're going to be meeting a birthmother next week in LA. It was supposed to happen this week but with one thing or another, next week works out better for everyone. I'd prefer to get this over with before the holiday weekend, but I've waited this long, what's another week?

Remember that daimoku session I had with my friend a couple weeks ago? The reason was that we had received a profile that DH felt strongly about so I thought maybe I should just get clear on a few things. So now this. We've been trying to arrange for dogcare and air flights, pulling funds together, and of course, I have friends flying in just for the weekend. Cause I didn't think I'd have anything else to do. !!!!!

I'd prefer to have someone come and stay with Juno but everyone (but me) has work or kids or something to do. She's still a puppy (she lost her first tooth yesterday) so she still needs supervision but my friend who is a dog walker/actress recommended her employer to board her. I don't really want to board her but it's simpler I guess. Of course, now I have to get through a weekend with friends who have no idea of what we've been going through for years (we recently got back in touch with each other). That should be interesting.

Am I excited? Sort of. I feel calm though. Strangely calm. My friend who is away for a holiday called me and said the sweetest thing to me. She said, just remember, you're enough just as you are. I almost cried. It was exactly what I needed to hear. So I'm staying calm, making arrangements, trying not to get ahead of myself. Wondering if I should bring gifts - what kind of gifts - or would that look too desperate? It's like a blind date, I have to fix my hair, get a bikini wax, what should I wear? I guess I could skip the bikini wax part.


Wordgirl said...

Oh Deathstar,

I have goosebumps! And I love what your friend said -- and it is so true -- you are just right, just as you are. I am sending you lots and lots of love and warm thoughts for this trip!

I always have anxiety about leaving Lucy with someone -- but I'll tell you -- I would do a highly rated boarding service next time -- last time I left Lucy with a woman who bred dogs -- someone I thought seemed nice with good facilities -- but she never walked us around the facility (we should have been more forceful) -- and things seemed a tiny bit chaotic in her office -- and in retrospect I would go with a well respected boarding service -- even if pricey --one you can check out thoroughly -- that's just my two cents...

It will go wonderfully -- and Juno will love you all the more when you return!



OHN said...

Before I read the last sentence I was going to tell you to forget the waxing. I am fairly certain they won't be doing a cavity search on you :)

Some simple flowers would be a nice touch. I do think that gifts at a first meeting might be a bit too much like saying "pick me, pick me!!"

I would let Juno stay here but I am guessing the airfare for her might be a bit high :)

Beautiful Mess said...

You have amazing friends! I'm sure you know that already, but still..you REALLY do!

I think flowers is a wonderful idea. She is probably scared and unsure and soemthing just for HER to make HER smile is a very sweet gesture.

Good luck, have a safe flight and remember what your friend said! She's RIGHT!

loribeth said...

Oooh, Deathstar, good luck!! I can't wait to hear how things go. And yes, you are enough. (With or without bikini wax, lol.)

My girlfriend often boards her dog when they're away for an extended period. The dog loves it -- lots of other doggies to play with. It's like a vacation for her too! : )

annacyclopedia said...

It is wonderful that you are feeling strangely calm, but I am wanting to run around the yard with Lucky screaming for joy at the top of my lungs!

Your friend is so very right - you are perfectly and completely and magnificently enough, just as you are. And at the same time I am hoping and praying for you that this trip is the beginning of this longed-for change in your life.

Safe and happy travels, dear friend.

Evergreen said...

Exciting! I hope this all works out for you!

I will 2nd about the boarding. It is really nice to leave the pups in a place you know you don't have to think about them, so you can stay focused on what you are doing.

Best of luck with your meeting. I hope it is the right match for you all.

Guera! said...

That is so exciting. And get the bikini wax. Nobody will know or "notice" but you will feel good and it will be your little secret and you should treat yourself anyway. A small gift would be nice too and I bet it would be appreciated. (Desperate would be a new car.) A small token of some sort shows you acknowledge the enormity of the meeting and the persons involved and everything that is at stake including the birthmother's feelings. A gift shows you are thinking of her and not just the baby you are hoping to take home one day. Good luck and keep us posted! ha ha. Posted! Get it? Sorry it's early and I am indulging in way too much caffeine.

WannabeMommy said...

How exciting!! I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.

Gift = good idea. Exactly what that gift should be? Good question.

Cara said...

Excellent! I was excited that you have a trip. I'm a fellow adoptive parent and keep following your blog. If you feel you have to take a gift, take something regional-then it could be a "friend meeting friend" gift, and not a "pick me" gift. We are (crossing fingers) going to get our second adopted daughter in 2 weeks...She just needs to get born! And the final paper signed. Its been a long road, but one that I know has had purpose. As I listened to my 5 year old run and talk to her cousin today, again I am reminded that she was only meant to be with our family-even though the powers that be messed up and let her be born in Russia! Be true to yourself and the family will come. I can't wait to read about that!

Barely Sane said...

Holy smokes - I go away for a few days and look at what happens. Sheot - this is exciting!!!

... in a calm, cool, collected kinda way. NOT. Fingers crossed it all goes well.

Me said...

Belated happy nodding going on somewhere in north-central-ish-eastern USA for ya.