Friday, May 2, 2008

Still not pregnant and still okay with that

I had my follow up visit with the radiologist after my lovely UFE, and he said my uterus was about 3 inches smaller than it used to be. From about 14 to 11 cm or so. Apparently, my uterus should get smaller though during the next several months. I told him I had a pain on my right side during strenuous exercise, he says not to worry about it. Thanks for the medical insight, doc. I have another follow up with my gyn in a couple of weeks, so we'll see if he has anything else to offer. I often wonder if fibroids was really the reason I couldn't get pregnant, I was told otherwise and that may be true, but I would think it would be hard to implant on a rocky surface and after repeated IVFs, and lots of estrogen, they would have multiplied and gotten bigger. Hindsight tells me I should have risked fibroid surgery years ago, but the specialist at the time didn't think it was imperative. Whatever.

I just found out through a friend that a mutual friend (in her 40s), who after many years, finally found Mr. Right and is now pregnant. I am very happy for her and will act surprised when I hear the news from her. This being the 2nd bit of new pregnancy news in my circle of friends, I have to admit, is a bit much, but hey, it's not all about me, is it? Aunt Flo, now a shadow of her former self thank you very much, has made her appearance, but her tradewind hormones have thrown me into a moody, grumpy carbohydrate seeker (see previous post) and reminded me once again that this Mother's Day will be about my mum and MIL and not me. BUT STILL, I'm feeling generous. I'm going to Toronto next week to visit friends (thank you DH and your blessed aeroplan miles) and I may have found a way out of hair purgatory.

Life is sweet.


luna said...

cursed fibroids. I hate those effing things. as I'm sure you know, whether they affect fertility depends on size, type, location, and random chance. I've been told all kinds of things and don't believe them all. one thing about the IVF protocol though, if you were on lupron that should have balanced out the estrogen. still, so annoying I know.

I am also quite tired of the pregnancy news and seemingly endless trail of babies. seriously, they just keep on coming. sadly, I've given up on trying to share the lives of friends and colleagues with babies who are clueless, not supportive, etc. it's just too painful. instead I limit my baby exposure to family (on top of normal everyday baby overload...)

glad to hear you've got some nice plans coming up. ~luna

Mrs.X said...

I think it shows so much fortitude and strength to even to be able to write the sentence "Still not pregnant and still okay with that." I really admire that.

It's so hard to look back and wonder if you did the right thing. The best you can do is the right thing for you at that time with the information you have. And, it sounds like you did. I hope your uterus continues to shrink (I can honestly say this is the first time I've ever said that to anyone) and I hope the gyn has some more insight.

Good for you for seeing the good despite the bad that has been thrown your way. It is a sign of true strength.

Pamela T. said...

I may be repeating myself as I started to comment and then got pulled away from the here goes again.

I'm all for celebrating those small victories -- a smaller ute and less intense and messy Aunt Flo visits and a way out of hair purgatory and lovely friends -- all goodness.

Funny enough, a similar report from me this week as my annual doctor visit with the female bits showed my ute had shrunk some, too!

Wordgirl said...

You sound incredibly grounded -- I was gardening today and my neighbor emerged from her house after the long winter -- yes, you guessed it -- pregnant.

I was genuinely happy for her but it was hard not to have a little twinge.

Your generosity of spirit is such a gift -- thank you - it's been a wonderful reminder to me.

I hope you have (are having?) a wonderful trip -- I can't wait to hear about it when you return.


One View said...

Sorry to hear about your fibroid issues and that it still haunts you. Its hard not to sometimes wonder and look back in hindsight. There is so much I still regret but I just have to believe I did my best and at the time I made the right decisions.

Pregnancy news (especially people who seem to get is so easily) is always so hard for me. I know it has nothing to do with me but its never easy to hear the news. Sorry you have to still deal with that.

Have fun in Toronto!!!!