Friday, May 23, 2008

Fishy situation

Well, that "situation" we were looking for more details on has dissolved. We got a follow up phone call from the agency and it looks like it could have gone south on us. The birthmother had 2 kids already, wanted $1000 a month and she was due in September. The director had a suspicious feeling about it. Like maybe she was just angling for financial support for the summer. We deferred to his better judgment. Remember that Dateline news show when they tracked a deranged woman who had promised a several couples her baby, and then took all their money and cut off all communication? One couple gave her several hundred dollars and the cameras tracked her spending it in Wal-Mart on baby clothes, etc. In the end, I don't even think she was pregnant. Yeah, didn't want that to happen to us. You're not allowed to pay for living expenses like that in Canada. Health care is ensured, so that's not a concern. And you don't have to pay a hospital bill after giving birth.

Hubby has gone over our profile and suggested we remove mention of my Buddhism because we don't mention his religious beliefs. He's a raving atheist. I countered that in lieu of that, we brought up his athleticism. I don't really have any hobbies other than blogging and sitting on patios with refreshing alcoholic beverages. He thought Buddhism might be considered too out of the norm for Christian agencies. Said if we were looking at it from a marketing angle, then we should be trying to "catch more fish" so to speak, then when we meet the birthmother we could be more specific about our beliefs. I pointed out that I had already blogged about that some time ago and sent him that link (as he does not read my blog, well, not after one particular post). We still haven't revisited that issue in any great length. I guess I could, just to be accommodating, but it's in our homestudy package. I don't know. I think he's wondering why we're not getting more inquiries (on account of we're so fabulous!) It also could be that we're in Canada and depending on which state the birthmother is from, it might be considered too far to consider.

I'm not worried, things will unfold as they will. I'd like to think that this will be the last summer as non-mum. Remind me of this when I start to panic and get all insecure and neurotic and worry again, okay?


luna said...

probably wise to pass on that one.
what about saying "spiritual" instead?
I also like sitting on patios with refreshing alcoholic beverages, especially in summer.
here's hoping the next situation is a keeper.

Teendoc said...

My agency is so desperate for biracial couples. Would you be interested in signing up with them? They are a large agency on the East Coast.

Pamela T. said...

LOL at this one: "I don't really have any hobbies other than blogging and sitting on patios with refreshing alcoholic beverages."

Why do you have to live so far away???

Luna has a great suggestion with the softer "spiritual" term...wishing you a really good summer that leads to successful adoption!

(Um, I could use a freshening of my drink ;-)

Wordgirl said...

I second the "why do you live so far away"...I believe this is your last summer as a non-mum. I truly do.

I wish I could give more advice about the profile -- I think of it often myself -- how do you convey the fullness of who you are... but I suppose the term 'spiritual' may act as a keyword to the birthmother that this person has deeply held beliefs -- and then you have the wonderful opportunity to talk more about it later.

My profile would be 'tentative buddhist and raging atheist' -- as G is much like yours...I keep thinking of you as I muster the courage to visit a community here!


Lori Lavender Luz said...

I agree with Luna and PJ. We stated that we had been raised in our respective religions and considered ourselves spiritual now rather than religious. And that we hoped to give our children a moral and cultural foundation so that they can seek their own Truth.

May I join you on the patio?

Mrs.X said...

I'm so glad you guys didn't get caught up in a scam like that! I remember that Dateline - it makes you wonder how people can live with themselves getting money off of people's desire to have a child.

If we were ever to get to adoption, I've already given some thought to what we do on the question of religion. Luke your hubby too am a raving atheist (fabulous term!) and I feel as if the pool of potential birth mothers is limited by that.

I truly hope that by this time next year you have a little one!

chicklet said...

I was gonna say check with Lori re noting your religion or not, but she's already said so so I'll stop as I'm not so knowledgeable on the profile stuff. Patios however I'm very knoweldgeable on.

Deathstar said...

Will definitely use your spiritual suggestion, my Buddhism is mentioned in our homestudy package so that's the 2nd bit of info they get. They're actually running low on our profiles, so we can't be doing that badly, I'm still holding to my thought that the right situation will come in the right time. I would like to go to Europe this summer sans baby. Spit-up does not look good on silk.

Lori - I like your moral and cultural foundation so they can see their own Truth line. Holy cow - that sounds great!

You are all so with me on the patio - feeling the love - or is that my 7th Lemon drop martini? or was it the superb shiraz - whatever.

annacyclopedia said...

Since I don't really drink anymore, can I hang out with you all if I promise everyone a safe ride home?

Sounds like Lori has nailed it with the key messages for your profile, so I'll just go and make sure my car is tidy...

Deathstar said...

woohoo! We have a designated driver!

loribeth said...

Room for one more on the patio??

Sorry the "situation" didn't turn out as you hoped, but it sounds like it was probably for the best.

Anonymous said...

I'm a few days late in commenting... I've been lurking awhile, I found you through Liana's blog. I'm Joanna, the one that created Liana and Mason's profile. I would be happy to look yours over and give you some thoughts if you like. Profiles can be touchy and things like religion are difficult to navigate. You can find me through my site at I wish you all the luck in the world... and pass the lemon drop martinis! (we call that "mommy juice” around here, after my 3 year old tried to serve his friends the "lemonade" he found in the fridge. Yikes, on so many levels!)