Thursday, October 23, 2008

What now?

I bet you're all wondering what happened. I'm still wondering that myself. Talked to hubby about the situation, talked to the agency. Not having the immigration number was a problem, but I have tried calling the immigration number. It's the usual automated hell. I tried waiting, I tried pressing 0, I either get disconnected or told that number was invalid or that they can't transfer the call to an agent cause it's too busy. I don't have any further information from the agency yet regarding whether our profile was even approved, so it could be just one of those things. Oddly enough, I thought of this woman who gave birth and wanted to sign away her child so quickly and I was so upset. What if she changed her mind? Did she really know what she was doing? How old is she, does she have other children, who is she? I actually pictured myself by her bedside with a beautiful healthy little girl in my arms. Was she really choosing me or did it even matter to her? Where is this child now? Already, I'm attached. Ohmigosh, I was so overwhelmed with emotion.

Hubby was a little freaked about the bags of money in small unmarked bills (just kidding), but looks like some money that was locked up in a government RSP will soon become available. When we first started this, we were counting on being able to cash in some stocks which were doing very well. That idea was flushed down the toilet along with the rest of the market. Ah, the glamorous world of high finance. He was quite impressed with my action plan though. I think it helped us both realize that this adoption could really happen in real life, not just in our dreams.

I went to the culture centre last night, all revved up for some serious chanting and boy did I have a lot to chant for. It occurred to me that while I was chanting for bags of money that I could also chant for a "free" baby or a Canadian baby. That sounds horrible cause you can't really put a price on a child, but the reality is that people who adopt infants can afford to or have made significant sacrifices to do so. Potential parents would like to put the money away for a child's education or pay down their mortgage, but lawyers, agencies, and birth parents need to be taken care of. I understand that. The adoption process is not for the faint of heart, you have to be committed, you have to be strong. We're lucky, I actually know people who could come up with serious coin if I asked (ssh, hubby would kill me, he'd rather chew off his arm instead of borrowing), but we'll see about that. He married a woman with Bajan (Barbadian) blood and we do what we want. In secret. (insert voodoo music here.)

I also chanted for my girlfriend dealing with breast cancer. See, now that's a REAL problem. I'd like to go spend some time with her and we may have enough aeroplan miles. Though I appreciate hubby's efforts to deal with the current state of the economy and what it means to us personally, I also wish that he could put money in perspective. This is a child and our future, not a car, not a house. Debt sucks, but dying sucks harder. People first, money second. (Occasionally Suzie O. says something worthwhile.)

Thank you for all the encouragement and advice and support. Thanks Joanne for the offer to stay in Houston. When I know more, I'll let you all know.


luna said...

wow, just catching up with you now. sorry it didn't work out this time but hope you can get your paperwork in order for that next call. and let me know if you find an 'extra' bag full of dollars!

loribeth said...

Fingers crossed for you that something works out!! -- and if not this time, then very soon!