Saturday, October 25, 2008

Still waiting

We went to the adoption agency yesterday for a little face time. Just wanted to know what we could do to get things moving along. We were encouraged to hear that we were on the top of the list for a bi-racial baby and that we should hang in there. We have also discussed the possibility of posting on a couple of internet sites for more exposure in Canada. We would use a contact person there to handle any inquiries from birth mothers. I did learn though that the province of Ontario insists on anyone adopting out of there to hire a lawyer from there if the child is moving out of province. So in essence we'd be paying two lawyers when one lawyer would do. In Nova Scotia, adoptions are just plain discouraged. So the two provinces where we might find our bi-racial child, and thus avoiding US immigration, are proving to be problematic.

On our way home, hubby railed against the horrid expenses adoptive parents incur, as if infertile couples haven't shelled out enough money on fertility treatments and therapies, and that we'd be saving the province from supporting a needy child and why weren't they more helpful. That we could be using tens of thousands of dollars to buy that child an education or a new home or whatever. He ranted that there are some great people out there who could never undertake adoption because of the expense. I pointed out that it is only because we wanted a newborn and we could have chosen other options, like choosing an older child from a government waiting list. We did have choices. Not easy ones, but we did have choices. Not to mention, remaining childless. I know that's only one side of the whole equation, but his frustration was apparent. I can understand why it's so easy to be overwhelmed. Waiting can be very painful, as we all know. It can feel that you are being punished once again for not being fertile. There are so many people out there that could barely raise an objection never mind a child, but that doesn't stop them.

Ah, never mind. Onward and upward, back to the action plan.

5 comments:

Portraits In Sepia said...

There's not one bit of it that makes any sense....

loribeth said...

Nope, no sense whatsoever. :(

I'm glad you are feeling encouraged, though!

Pamela Jeanne said...

Your DH's frustrations are totally justified. As you say, it's not enough to get slammed body and soul (and in the bank account) from IF but then to have to face more of the same when you're looking to offer a loving home just seems beyond the pale...sigh.

annacyclopedia said...

" It can feel that you are being punished once again for not being fertile. "

That the part that seems so hard for me to understand. I wish it were so much easier, in all ways, for both of you.

Me said...

I agree with your DH; it's NOT fair.