Sunday, August 19, 2007

Thoughtless Stupid Ass Things People Say - Part 2

You waited too long.

Yep, probably right about that. But I didn't meet The One until I was in my mid 30's, wasn't financially stable, craving to have a baby in a tiny apartment and oh, yeah, didn't get married until I was 38. What could I have done differently? (I thought about that a lot, trust me.) Wait a minute, I should have been somebody else!

You are over 40.....

Doctors love that one. I know how old I am, doc, thanks for reminding me but using that phrase over and over when I'm paying you thousands of dollars to help me start a family, is only twisting the knife.

I guess you were not meant to have children.

Not meant to according to whom? I guess not. C'est la vie. Whatever will be, will be. Fuck you.
Tertia did an absolute brilliant post about this and more. Mail it to your good friends, I did. She's brilliant.

You're not going to cry every month when you get your period, are you?

No, just right now when I'm confiding in you my deepest, darkest feelings. I won't make this mistake again.

And finally, You're pregnant, right? (Pointing at my belly)

No, those are fibroids and/or fat on top of the fibroids. Or maybe it's just plain ole' fat. Thanks for ruining my day. Are you gonna eat that?


Pamela T. said...

"What could I have done differently? (I thought about that a lot, trust me.)"

If I had a dollar for every time I asked that question I'd be one exceptionally wealthy woman. Sigh. I think that's one of the worst aspects of infertility. The unanswerable questions that continue to torture.

Shoe said...

Loving your snark!!!! You GO girl!


Nica said...

I love "but you're a young 40."

Because *that's* better

Anonymous said...

Hey. Welcome, well. Just welcome! (And, don't worry, snarkiness is not required, but is strongly encouraged!)

I'm with you on the "You are over 40" thing. My former RE (Dr. Negative) had a standard response to any question about anything wonky down below: "This is only to be expected in a woman your age with high FSH." As if all the ills of the Universe could be attributed to the age of my girlie parts.


Like you, I met VB an an "advanced age" and didn't start trying until age 38, so I also get the "why'd you wait so long?" bit too. (Yeah, I should have spawned in my 20s with with Dysfunctional Ex. That would have been a great idea!)

Anyway, I've enjoyed reading your first posts and look forward to reading more.