Saturday, August 18, 2007

Thoughtless Stupid Ass Things People Say - Part 1

Don't get me wrong. I am the first to believe that people don't mean harm and most of the time, they are trying to make you feel better. Or themselves feel better. But if you're infertile (and don't want to be) you have a unique perspective that fertile people never will. Lucky you.

"Oh, don't worry, it'll happen for you, you just have to: Let go and let God.... relax.... go on a vacation.... stop thinking about it..... eat less acidic foods..... eat organic pineapple, yams, insert whatever food here .... chant enough daimoku.... visit a holy shrine ...... drink this cup of stinky ass mud twice a day ......"

Well, yes, that just might happen. And I'm sure it does - to other people - just not me. Yes, it happened to your neighbour, your hairdresser, your friend at the office. Lovely. Peachy. I'm so happy for them. Really. But I did all that and it still didn't work. Frankly, if someone told me to run down Main Street at full moon buck naked, I would have done it.

"Hurry up and have a kid, so our kid can have a playmate!"

Oh, sorry, to keep you waiting.

"We can always travel instead."

Guess who said that one.

"It's okay, you can always adopt."

Oh, yeah, why didn't I think of that first? I could have had a V8! I feel so much better now.

"It's all these toxins in our society!"

Ever been to a Third World country? It's crowded!

"You can get a little baby from Africa, just like Angelina Jolie, they're so cute!"

Hang on, let me get a catalogue, do they take Visa?

"Don't they all have AIDS?"

It's okay, it's money back guaranteed.

'Your baby wants to be born into a fortune family"

Hey, honey, drink this and you'll wake up a Buddhist! DRINK IT!


Pamela T. said...

Could not have said it better myself. Can't wait to see Part II.

Tigger said...

I wish I knew where people got off saying all these things. I also really wish it was socially acceptable to snark back at them without feeling rude. :)

Welcome to the blogosphere!

Kami said...

Oh, haven't we heard it all?! Why can't people get that infertility is not a mindset? Oh, and I have tried so many alternative medicines too - didn't work here either.

kb said...

You said exactly what I have thought so SO many times. My favorite is when they put the word "just" in the "why don't you (just) adopt" sentence. If you don't mind, I may have to borrow your retort about a catalog and a Visa card next time.