We finished another educational on-line course this morning. This one went a little bit better than the last. We actually learned something. We learned about how to handle questions that may arise from a young child, like "Did I come out of your tummy?". And how to look beyond the question and address the real need of the child. We talked a lot about learning to think about the needs of a child versus what we would instinctively do or say from our own point of view. My DH grew up with a lot of anger and abandonment issues because his parents didn't give much thought to explaining divorce to him or his older siblings. My own parents marriage was fractured before they divorced and full of rancor and disappointment. No one spoke the real truth.
Strangely enough later, my sister called me from Georgia and told me she heard from a family friend that our father wanted to see her and her son. She didn't want to see him at all. That's a long story. Suffice to say we both have issues with our father. He wasn't a monster, he just wasn't a good dad and continues to be an ass. I told her to think of her son first, it wasn't about how she felt about dad. I asked her if her little boy would enjoy seeing his grandfather. That our dad wouldn't be around forever. Mmmm. Think there's a lesson in there for me. Betcha I'll be in her shoes soon enough.