Saturday, April 5, 2008

The ultimate gender bend

"If we seem to be weathering an endless winter, we must not abandon hope, as long as we have hope, spring will come without fail." - Pres. Ikeda


Now that I've made my long, rambling point about obsession or FOCUS, I'd like to say that I think women rule. Women are so incredibly strong and resilient, it's no wonder we can survive the rigors of ART, or pregnancy and childbirth for that matter. Which brings me to my next point. I suppose you've heard of Thomas Beatie, the pregnant man, who was on Oprah yesterday. When I heard about it, my first reaction was what the hell? Even a guy has a better uterus than I do. Ack! Being born a female (and staying a female) was not a trump card. Well, I only had time to watch the first half hour and once the mechanics was explained, I was struck by the couple's obvious love and devotion. I could feel their vulnerability, see how they stood in the truth of who they were. I was struck by the humanity of it all. Thomas said wanting children was a human desire and that he had a right to have his own biological child. Then I began to worry for their safety. Because you know somebody out there will not respect who they are, will probably be outraged and .... I don't want to think of negative repercussions. After all, once upon a time, my husband and I might have been run out of town for being married to each other. So I wish for them and their unborn child a lifetime of protection and peace.

Ah, I never fail to be surprised by life.


peesticksandstones said...

I heard some gals at work talking about how "sick" and "selfish" the pregnant-man couple is, and I wanted to scream. Hearing anyone judge ANYONE else's reproductive/family choices drives me crazy. Especially folks who claim to be pro-woman/pro-choice, etc. It's surprising how often those same folks will harshly judge people who resort to ART.

Now if I only had the guts to speak up and say something next time I hear another one of those wisecracks...

One View said...

I saw that Oprah episode as well and the first thing I thought was the same thing as you. What a man can get pregnant and I can't? I wasn't even sure if I wanted to watch it and was planning to delete it. But as I went on to watch, I was surprised by how I started to feel for these people and the desire for them was just like anyone else. I too hope they don't have to deal with the judgements.

Wordgirl said...

I felt the wonder -- I really liked Thomas and felt his vulnerability and his hope that the world would accept him. I have a GLBT connection -- famillial and personal --and so when these sorts of things come up on say, Oprah, I sit watching with my heart in my mouth.

It makes me incredibly sad to hear what this piece has provoked...but then I think it's all worth it when W. said one morning: There's a man who's having a baby....

and I got to very factually explain about transgender...and how some people are born one way but feel in their hearts another...and he just nodded his head and said 'okay'.

What a world we live in -- maybe when W is my age things will change even more -- and in a good way.

Thank you for this post.

Anonymous said...

First of all, thanks for the wonderful comment on my post. I know that I'll never get over the fact that I can't get pregnant, but I figured that after 4 years I might find a little "peace" within myself. But at this point ... I have not. And I think that's the thing that's holding me back from taking that next leap towards adoption.

Now ... about the whole gender bender thing. When I first heard about this, I thought "how unfair!" But after reading about the story (ironically in Peo.ple Magazine), I was amazed how strong this couple was. It's no different than my dreams or any of the other IF bloggers out there. And I'm happy that they're able to follow that dream of having their own child.