Sunday, January 20, 2008

My crappy uterus

Once again, I'm going to be exposing my snatch to complete strangers. How's that for an opening line?

I'm having a UAE (uterine artery embolization) Monday morning. It requires a tube being inserted into my groin area to have plastic pellets block the arteries that feed the multiple fibroids in my uterus. So of course, I had my curlicues ripped out in the applicable areas as to present well. Didn't really want the nurses scraping away at my privates with a disposable razor. "Oh, my, it certainly has been a while since you trimmed this, eh, dear?" Well, yes, and a welcome break that was! As I've been sweating more than I ever thought was possible in far off places, taking a break from powder puff maintenance has spared me the agonies of ingrown hairs.

Did you know that you're not supposed to wear nail polish on your toes for surgical procedures? Well, I didn't. I lost 5.4 lbs over the past two weeks (okay, last week I was sick with cold and barking like an Arctic seal and I didn't work out. By the way, don't you hate when people come to the gym sick and hack and spew all over the place?), so I celebrated with a pedicure. A lovely frosty aubergine. Then I find out I may have to remove it. What if I feign ignorance? My fingernails are not done, can't they just check my colour on my fingertips? I'm not going under anaesthesia, just sedation. Rats! Gotta remember to bring some nail polish remover just in case.

Today, I had some friends over for an hour chant. It was lovely. I feel much more serene. You'd think that after all the procedures I've been through, this procedure would be a cakewalk for me, but frankly, I'm a little gun-shy with doctors. I'm about done with having medical personnel assess my bits and pieces. Come to think of it, I've never met this radiologist. I had the consult with his partner who, due to a vision problem, wasn't doing the procedure anymore. Pity. I'll always have nostalgia for that condescending, little ...... never mind. I'm all chilled out. I hope he has a good bedside manner anyway. And doesn't use the phrase, "women your age".

So as I'm sure you all understand, I've been cleaning, doing laundry, did the shopping, so I'm all set for a few days resting in my clean, semi-orderly house. The food is frozen, so hubby can cook something up with as little trouble as possible. I hope to be attending our first ballroom dancing class in a few days. Optimistic? Yeah, but it gives me something to shoot for.

2 comments:

Pamela Jeanne said...

I got pretty comfortable with the getting and being naked in front of strangers thing, but the actual surgery/procedure thing is a different matter -- always left me nervous.

From one endo girl to another, I hope today's procedure is fast and comes with copious amounts of painkillers.

Thinking of you and wishing you well.

Schatzi said...

What kind of a recovery time is there for this procedure?

I'm with you... it seems they could just use your fingernails to check your oxygenation. I would definitely feign ignorance :-).