Blind Date

As promised, the day before our 7th anniversary, I wanted to let share how I met DH - a gajillion years ago on a blind date.

I was doing extra work (for a show called Madison) on a dark and rainy night in the middle of nowhere. As I entered the extras tent, I noticed a tall dark man huddled up by the gas heater. I had recognized him before, I had seen him on set before playing a fireman. I sidled up to this good looking African guy and noticed he was reading One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez . Mmm, intriguing. They paired up us in a car and we chatted a little bit and by the end of the night, it was still raining and I asked him to drive me home. He was going to visit a buddy who lived in my neighbourhood, so he obliged. As he was driving, he called him up on his cell and told his buddy that he was coming and he had a cute but lippy black woman in his car. Before I knew it, I was on the phone and his buddy asked me out. I was not really looking to hook up with him, but I said sure, as long as I wasn't working the next day we could meet for coffee. I had been seeing my ex and a young summer fling floating around in my head, but what the heck, I was single and uncommitted. My new acquaintance started chatting his buddy up to me, so I surmised he wasn't too interested in me.

The next day I gave him a call and a woman's voice was on the answering machine. I hung up. A minute later, the phone rings and it's him (caller ID) and asked if I had just called. I said, yeah, but who was the woman's voice on the answering machine. He explained that he lived with 3 roommates, 2 of which were female. Okayyyy. So we make a plan to meet at Starbuck's later that day. And there he was, as described. Close shaven head, brown eyes waiting at the door. Waiting for me, as in didn't get his coffee before I came in. Good sign. So I have a cappuccino and he has a juice, apparently he doesn't drink coffee. He was sweet and funny and though I went in fully determined to keep my mouth shut, I found myself blabbering on about myself. Then his pager goes off. Yes, this was the time of pagers, people. He was a correctional officer and he had to go to work. Yeah, sure, I thought, that's his buddy getting him out of bad situation. So as he walks me to the corner, he smiles and says that he'd like to continue our date sometime soon. I'm like, yeah, sure, call me and I go off to meet my friends. Whatever, nothing ventured, nothing gained. That night he calls me and says he truly had to go to work, it was not his buddy calling him and he really enjoyed meeting me. Sweet. He really did have beautiful brown eyes.

Meanwhile, my ex was in town for business. You know, he was one of those guys where years later, you give your head a shake and think what the hell was I was thinking?! The actress and the nerd. But it was years later, I was over it and all of a sudden he wants to see me. I'm thinking, maybe for closure, I don't know. But it's obvious, we still have the same physical spark we always had and I'm just trying to figure out why the universe has sent this man back into my life. I didn't love him anymore, but maybe I should try again. A week later, DH calls me and we make a date to go out. I'm feeling like, ah, this is the life I was meant to live. Going out, enjoying life, happy and single. The ex wants to get together but I tell him I have "other plans" and he should go out with this business colleagues.

We went to play pool. As we're walking into the pool hall, guess who comes out? The ex. Yep. And he wants to hang out with us. I tell him I'm busy and try to pretend I'm not freaked out. I'm not sure my ex realized I was out on a date. I'm completely rattled and eventually confess to my handsome date and we have a good laugh at my expense. At this point, DH doesn't know the full extent of our history, but still I feel a little awkward being out with one guy while another is trying to get back together with me. Later, we went to see the movies, "Sleepers" with Kevin Bacon. Yeah, not exactly a date movie but there ya go. As we are leaving the movie, I get a message on my pager that my ex had left his briefcase at my place and had to get it back that night. Oh great. So as we pull up in front of my apartment, I'm hoping he's not at the front door waiting for me. I'm actually sweating. Whew, he's not there (he's actually around the corner at an all night bakery) and I get a nice goodnight kiss. DH also promises to take me to work the next morning cause he kept me out so late. Off he goes and the ex shows up 10 minutes later. He has to spend the night because at this point he can't get back to where he's staying because the transportation was no longer running. And no, we did not have sex. Honestly, what kind of girl do you think I am?

Fast forward to the next morning and I'm trying to get the ex to leave as early as possible. Finally, I get him gone and 5 minutes later, DH shows up as promised (on his day off) to take me to work. Sometimes it's a curse being so hot, honestly. The ex leaves town the next day and I end up seeing DH every day after that. I am relieved when he is gone. He has sucked all the positive energy out of me. I was so depressed. I was actually moving back to Toronto and I thought, is that all there is? I would end up living with this guy because I had no one else. I was pretty sure he was planning out the wedding invitations. Sigh. It was obvious that he hadn't really changed all that much, I was definitely not in love with him and told him so repeatedly and as usual, he was intent on only believing in the fairy tale in his head. But when I was with DH, I felt light and happy and that he really wanted the best for me. No sad history, no bad memories. I felt safe with him. Free to be the woman I had become. And 5 weeks later, we fell in love and went looking at rings. Now the journey for the actress and the prison guard to actually getting married is another story. :)

So there you go.