Posts
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Thursday, November 6, 2008
One more Obama story
One more Obama story, can you stand it? Our politicians are rarely so interesting. In Canada, we like our prime ministers white and boring as drying paint. Okay...moving on. Going to a birth mother panel tonight and I will let you know what I learned.
Blind Date
As promised, the day before our 7th anniversary, I wanted to let share how I met DH - a gajillion years ago on a blind date.
I was doing extra work (for a show called Madison) on a dark and rainy night in the middle of nowhere. As I entered the extras tent, I noticed a tall dark man huddled up by the gas heater. I had recognized him before, I had seen him on set before playing a fireman. I sidled up to this good looking African guy and noticed he was reading One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez . Mmm, intriguing. They paired up us in a car and we chatted a little bit and by the end of the night, it was still raining and I asked him to drive me home. He was going to visit a buddy who lived in my neighbourhood, so he obliged. As he was driving, he called him up on his cell and told his buddy that he was coming and he had a cute but lippy black woman in his car. Before I knew it, I was on the phone and his buddy asked me out. I was not really looking to hook up with him, but I said sure, as long as I wasn't working the next day we could meet for coffee. I had been seeing my ex and a young summer fling floating around in my head, but what the heck, I was single and uncommitted. My new acquaintance started chatting his buddy up to me, so I surmised he wasn't too interested in me.
The next day I gave him a call and a woman's voice was on the answering machine. I hung up. A minute later, the phone rings and it's him (caller ID) and asked if I had just called. I said, yeah, but who was the woman's voice on the answering machine. He explained that he lived with 3 roommates, 2 of which were female. Okayyyy. So we make a plan to meet at Starbuck's later that day. And there he was, as described. Close shaven head, brown eyes waiting at the door. Waiting for me, as in didn't get his coffee before I came in. Good sign. So I have a cappuccino and he has a juice, apparently he doesn't drink coffee. He was sweet and funny and though I went in fully determined to keep my mouth shut, I found myself blabbering on about myself. Then his pager goes off. Yes, this was the time of pagers, people. He was a correctional officer and he had to go to work. Yeah, sure, I thought, that's his buddy getting him out of bad situation. So as he walks me to the corner, he smiles and says that he'd like to continue our date sometime soon. I'm like, yeah, sure, call me and I go off to meet my friends. Whatever, nothing ventured, nothing gained. That night he calls me and says he truly had to go to work, it was not his buddy calling him and he really enjoyed meeting me. Sweet. He really did have beautiful brown eyes.
Meanwhile, my ex was in town for business. You know, he was one of those guys where years later, you give your head a shake and think what the hell was I was thinking?! The actress and the nerd. But it was years later, I was over it and all of a sudden he wants to see me. I'm thinking, maybe for closure, I don't know. But it's obvious, we still have the same physical spark we always had and I'm just trying to figure out why the universe has sent this man back into my life. I didn't love him anymore, but maybe I should try again. A week later, DH calls me and we make a date to go out. I'm feeling like, ah, this is the life I was meant to live. Going out, enjoying life, happy and single. The ex wants to get together but I tell him I have "other plans" and he should go out with this business colleagues.
We went to play pool. As we're walking into the pool hall, guess who comes out? The ex. Yep. And he wants to hang out with us. I tell him I'm busy and try to pretend I'm not freaked out. I'm not sure my ex realized I was out on a date. I'm completely rattled and eventually confess to my handsome date and we have a good laugh at my expense. At this point, DH doesn't know the full extent of our history, but still I feel a little awkward being out with one guy while another is trying to get back together with me. Later, we went to see the movies, "Sleepers" with Kevin Bacon. Yeah, not exactly a date movie but there ya go. As we are leaving the movie, I get a message on my pager that my ex had left his briefcase at my place and had to get it back that night. Oh great. So as we pull up in front of my apartment, I'm hoping he's not at the front door waiting for me. I'm actually sweating. Whew, he's not there (he's actually around the corner at an all night bakery) and I get a nice goodnight kiss. DH also promises to take me to work the next morning cause he kept me out so late. Off he goes and the ex shows up 10 minutes later. He has to spend the night because at this point he can't get back to where he's staying because the transportation was no longer running. And no, we did not have sex. Honestly, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Fast forward to the next morning and I'm trying to get the ex to leave as early as possible. Finally, I get him gone and 5 minutes later, DH shows up as promised (on his day off) to take me to work. Sometimes it's a curse being so hot, honestly. The ex leaves town the next day and I end up seeing DH every day after that. I am relieved when he is gone. He has sucked all the positive energy out of me. I was so depressed. I was actually moving back to Toronto and I thought, is that all there is? I would end up living with this guy because I had no one else. I was pretty sure he was planning out the wedding invitations. Sigh. It was obvious that he hadn't really changed all that much, I was definitely not in love with him and told him so repeatedly and as usual, he was intent on only believing in the fairy tale in his head. But when I was with DH, I felt light and happy and that he really wanted the best for me. No sad history, no bad memories. I felt safe with him. Free to be the woman I had become. And 5 weeks later, we fell in love and went looking at rings. Now the journey for the actress and the prison guard to actually getting married is another story. :)
So there you go.
I was doing extra work (for a show called Madison) on a dark and rainy night in the middle of nowhere. As I entered the extras tent, I noticed a tall dark man huddled up by the gas heater. I had recognized him before, I had seen him on set before playing a fireman. I sidled up to this good looking African guy and noticed he was reading One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez . Mmm, intriguing. They paired up us in a car and we chatted a little bit and by the end of the night, it was still raining and I asked him to drive me home. He was going to visit a buddy who lived in my neighbourhood, so he obliged. As he was driving, he called him up on his cell and told his buddy that he was coming and he had a cute but lippy black woman in his car. Before I knew it, I was on the phone and his buddy asked me out. I was not really looking to hook up with him, but I said sure, as long as I wasn't working the next day we could meet for coffee. I had been seeing my ex and a young summer fling floating around in my head, but what the heck, I was single and uncommitted. My new acquaintance started chatting his buddy up to me, so I surmised he wasn't too interested in me.
The next day I gave him a call and a woman's voice was on the answering machine. I hung up. A minute later, the phone rings and it's him (caller ID) and asked if I had just called. I said, yeah, but who was the woman's voice on the answering machine. He explained that he lived with 3 roommates, 2 of which were female. Okayyyy. So we make a plan to meet at Starbuck's later that day. And there he was, as described. Close shaven head, brown eyes waiting at the door. Waiting for me, as in didn't get his coffee before I came in. Good sign. So I have a cappuccino and he has a juice, apparently he doesn't drink coffee. He was sweet and funny and though I went in fully determined to keep my mouth shut, I found myself blabbering on about myself. Then his pager goes off. Yes, this was the time of pagers, people. He was a correctional officer and he had to go to work. Yeah, sure, I thought, that's his buddy getting him out of bad situation. So as he walks me to the corner, he smiles and says that he'd like to continue our date sometime soon. I'm like, yeah, sure, call me and I go off to meet my friends. Whatever, nothing ventured, nothing gained. That night he calls me and says he truly had to go to work, it was not his buddy calling him and he really enjoyed meeting me. Sweet. He really did have beautiful brown eyes.
Meanwhile, my ex was in town for business. You know, he was one of those guys where years later, you give your head a shake and think what the hell was I was thinking?! The actress and the nerd. But it was years later, I was over it and all of a sudden he wants to see me. I'm thinking, maybe for closure, I don't know. But it's obvious, we still have the same physical spark we always had and I'm just trying to figure out why the universe has sent this man back into my life. I didn't love him anymore, but maybe I should try again. A week later, DH calls me and we make a date to go out. I'm feeling like, ah, this is the life I was meant to live. Going out, enjoying life, happy and single. The ex wants to get together but I tell him I have "other plans" and he should go out with this business colleagues.
We went to play pool. As we're walking into the pool hall, guess who comes out? The ex. Yep. And he wants to hang out with us. I tell him I'm busy and try to pretend I'm not freaked out. I'm not sure my ex realized I was out on a date. I'm completely rattled and eventually confess to my handsome date and we have a good laugh at my expense. At this point, DH doesn't know the full extent of our history, but still I feel a little awkward being out with one guy while another is trying to get back together with me. Later, we went to see the movies, "Sleepers" with Kevin Bacon. Yeah, not exactly a date movie but there ya go. As we are leaving the movie, I get a message on my pager that my ex had left his briefcase at my place and had to get it back that night. Oh great. So as we pull up in front of my apartment, I'm hoping he's not at the front door waiting for me. I'm actually sweating. Whew, he's not there (he's actually around the corner at an all night bakery) and I get a nice goodnight kiss. DH also promises to take me to work the next morning cause he kept me out so late. Off he goes and the ex shows up 10 minutes later. He has to spend the night because at this point he can't get back to where he's staying because the transportation was no longer running. And no, we did not have sex. Honestly, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Fast forward to the next morning and I'm trying to get the ex to leave as early as possible. Finally, I get him gone and 5 minutes later, DH shows up as promised (on his day off) to take me to work. Sometimes it's a curse being so hot, honestly. The ex leaves town the next day and I end up seeing DH every day after that. I am relieved when he is gone. He has sucked all the positive energy out of me. I was so depressed. I was actually moving back to Toronto and I thought, is that all there is? I would end up living with this guy because I had no one else. I was pretty sure he was planning out the wedding invitations. Sigh. It was obvious that he hadn't really changed all that much, I was definitely not in love with him and told him so repeatedly and as usual, he was intent on only believing in the fairy tale in his head. But when I was with DH, I felt light and happy and that he really wanted the best for me. No sad history, no bad memories. I felt safe with him. Free to be the woman I had become. And 5 weeks later, we fell in love and went looking at rings. Now the journey for the actress and the prison guard to actually getting married is another story. :)
So there you go.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Change
Congratulations to America and President Obama! I was working while the election was going on, but the French Canadian clients were keeping updated on their laptops! They raised a glass of wine and toasted to Obama's victory. Now the French Canadians don't like anybody so that's saying something. I would have cried had I been home, but I was at work so I had to just wait til I got home to toast Obama. What a resounding, historic victory! I know, I know, I'm Canadian, but still.... you gotta admit, it's a momentous occasion on this side of the world. I never would have believed it - a black President in my lifetime. Honestly, I thought I would only see Dennis Haysberry's "President Palmer" on "24". I don't think it has even sunk in yet. It was even that long ago, when blacks were fighting just for the RIGHT to vote.
Race is always such a big issue for Americans. You have people voting for him just cause he's black. That shouldn't be surprising. Some people voted for McCain because he's white. Some people couldn't get past how unlike Obama's name was compared to theirs. He wasn't one of THEM. Had one of the candidates been a Mexican-American, you could be sure that someone would have been searching high and low for the relative that was in the country illegally. They liked Sarah Palin because they looked just like her, their friends looked like her. They wouldn't invite Michelle Obama over for tea, now would they?
Hello folks, his mother was white. That should make some people feel better, though strangely it doesn't. That makes him mixed. He's been shaped by more than one culture and that would make him better equipped than most to be compassionate and knowledgeable in world affairs. He has an understanding that can be only experienced by someone like him. That makes him unique. And to those who talk about his "ties" with a domestic terrorist - are you kidding me?! Just because you served on the same board with a radical, doesn't make you one. As a matter of fact, experience in dealing with such people might actually come in handy. As for Obama having a socialist agenda - do you truly know what socialism is? Give me a break - he's a president not a dictator, please don't lose sleep over that one. You have had presidents, both Democrat and Republicans, that have been adulterers, crooks, liars of incredible magnitude, war-mongering morons. You almost impeached one of your presidents, remember? You voted in a former actor, so don't get too upset about Obama's lack of experience. He's not alone in all of this. He won fair and square, of that there can be no doubt. Be as gracious as Sen. McCain. You know what you should really be afraid of?
Every time, a man stands up to be a true leader, a good leader, a man of vision that can truly change the destiny of a country, one American stands up and kills him. Now that's what you should be truly afraid of.
Namaste.
Race is always such a big issue for Americans. You have people voting for him just cause he's black. That shouldn't be surprising. Some people voted for McCain because he's white. Some people couldn't get past how unlike Obama's name was compared to theirs. He wasn't one of THEM. Had one of the candidates been a Mexican-American, you could be sure that someone would have been searching high and low for the relative that was in the country illegally. They liked Sarah Palin because they looked just like her, their friends looked like her. They wouldn't invite Michelle Obama over for tea, now would they?
Hello folks, his mother was white. That should make some people feel better, though strangely it doesn't. That makes him mixed. He's been shaped by more than one culture and that would make him better equipped than most to be compassionate and knowledgeable in world affairs. He has an understanding that can be only experienced by someone like him. That makes him unique. And to those who talk about his "ties" with a domestic terrorist - are you kidding me?! Just because you served on the same board with a radical, doesn't make you one. As a matter of fact, experience in dealing with such people might actually come in handy. As for Obama having a socialist agenda - do you truly know what socialism is? Give me a break - he's a president not a dictator, please don't lose sleep over that one. You have had presidents, both Democrat and Republicans, that have been adulterers, crooks, liars of incredible magnitude, war-mongering morons. You almost impeached one of your presidents, remember? You voted in a former actor, so don't get too upset about Obama's lack of experience. He's not alone in all of this. He won fair and square, of that there can be no doubt. Be as gracious as Sen. McCain. You know what you should really be afraid of?
Every time, a man stands up to be a true leader, a good leader, a man of vision that can truly change the destiny of a country, one American stands up and kills him. Now that's what you should be truly afraid of.
Namaste.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Infertile's guide to babysitting
I just read this article at LoriBeth's blog, the Road Less Travelled , you've got read it - called the Bubble of Silence - so powerful! If you want to read what it's like for an infertile living in the fertile world, you won't want to miss it. Please note, if you are said topic, it will cut straight to your heart.
As an artist, and not a "brave" one like the author, I want to explore the topic - but it certainly makes you a bit of pariah in polite circles. I know a few colleagues who have become pregnant and haven't personally told me the good news because they know I can't have my own. You don't call up your Orthodox Jewish friend and invite them over for ham sandwich party, right? Still, what do I do? Do I call up about to pop any day now person and ask how they are or should I wait for the birth announcement?
Seriously, people, I should start a babysitting service for actresses - because I will have no mother friends when I get my onedayinthenearfuture baby. I've avoided young kids and babies out of sheer necessity. And apparently no one uses babysitters anymore because I have yet to socialize with parents who are not always with their children. Recently, I was at a birthday celebration in a restaurant and one guest brought her 18 month old in a sling with her. Her husband was working and she had him with her all night. At one point, she went outside for about 30 minutes walking around in the cold until he fell asleep and then she came back in. I don't think she had a bite to eat. She doesn't own a stroller and doesn't mind walking around for hours at a time with him in the sling. I'm sure she has the back muscles of Michael Phelps (Olympic swimmer). She also doesn't allow him to socialize with other toddlers unless she's involve directly in the play. Mmm, apparently there is a school of mother thought that believes this is necessary. I don't know anything about it, but I can assure you that I will not follow suit on that matter. Wouldn't young mums like a break every now and then?
I can watch them from 8 - 10pm, so they can go out to a movie or dinner (not both) and I can entertain them with old dog toys or or sock puppets. If that doesn't work, I've got a big plasma TV and they can watch videos while I play online Scrabble with my headphones on. I draw the line at Telebubbies. I can change diapers, if I can do my mum's, I can do theirs. I have a strong stomach. And aromatherapy products. I better read a book on infant care, eh?
As an artist, and not a "brave" one like the author, I want to explore the topic - but it certainly makes you a bit of pariah in polite circles. I know a few colleagues who have become pregnant and haven't personally told me the good news because they know I can't have my own. You don't call up your Orthodox Jewish friend and invite them over for ham sandwich party, right? Still, what do I do? Do I call up about to pop any day now person and ask how they are or should I wait for the birth announcement?
Seriously, people, I should start a babysitting service for actresses - because I will have no mother friends when I get my onedayinthenearfuture baby. I've avoided young kids and babies out of sheer necessity. And apparently no one uses babysitters anymore because I have yet to socialize with parents who are not always with their children. Recently, I was at a birthday celebration in a restaurant and one guest brought her 18 month old in a sling with her. Her husband was working and she had him with her all night. At one point, she went outside for about 30 minutes walking around in the cold until he fell asleep and then she came back in. I don't think she had a bite to eat. She doesn't own a stroller and doesn't mind walking around for hours at a time with him in the sling. I'm sure she has the back muscles of Michael Phelps (Olympic swimmer). She also doesn't allow him to socialize with other toddlers unless she's involve directly in the play. Mmm, apparently there is a school of mother thought that believes this is necessary. I don't know anything about it, but I can assure you that I will not follow suit on that matter. Wouldn't young mums like a break every now and then?
I can watch them from 8 - 10pm, so they can go out to a movie or dinner (not both) and I can entertain them with old dog toys or or sock puppets. If that doesn't work, I've got a big plasma TV and they can watch videos while I play online Scrabble with my headphones on. I draw the line at Telebubbies. I can change diapers, if I can do my mum's, I can do theirs. I have a strong stomach. And aromatherapy products. I better read a book on infant care, eh?
Monday, November 3, 2008
Itchy and Cranky
I'm thinking of changing my subheading to rants and musing about my ever changing state of mind. You know, as much as I don't want to admit it, I may indeed by perimenopausal. I have many of the symptoms. Of course, many of these symptoms are also side effects of Effexor, so it's a little confusing. Still, it would explain a lot. I'll go get a blood test by the end of the week and check out my hormone levels. At first, the drug made me a little nauseous which curbed my appetite, that's cool, I can live with that cause my waist could use a break, but now I've been craving carbs like there is no tomorrow, mac and cheese, oven fries, and you know how I love candy. Seriously, I would skip dinner if I could have candy instead. Last week, I ate enough Mike and Ike's to give myself a sugar headache. True, I was on my period, but if I continue to eat like that I will end up where I was last year. In a bigger pant size! And I'm throwing out my fat pants, people. I honestly don't feel like working out (but I do of course) or even getting off the couch. Maybe I'm a bear and just need to eat a lot and go sleep in a cave for the winter. I've also noticed that I can have a couple of glasses of wine, but I actually don't get a buzz. I would seriously like a buzz people! What's a glass of wine without a warm, fuzzy feeling? I'll tell you what that is - expensive Kool-Aid. I don't sleep very well, I get sweaty, but I'm not tired when I get up. Of course, Effexor can cause sleep disturbances and increased sweating. See what I mean?
I'm not actually suffering too much, I just want to know what I should do. Maybe a naturopath can get this all sorted out for me because I'm tired of being itchy, confused and cranky.
I'm not actually suffering too much, I just want to know what I should do. Maybe a naturopath can get this all sorted out for me because I'm tired of being itchy, confused and cranky.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Trick or Treat
Ever get on the phone with someone who talks on and on AND ON about stuff and then when it's your turn and you get in to some emotional talk about your dog dying and then she has to go, it's her mother calling through on the line? Really. Yeah, well, she can call me back. Sometimes being on Facebook is a curse - all sorts of people get a hold of you and want to talk to you. There's a reason they're not on my speed dial. Never mind. Just ranting.
I got up early yesterday and chanted 2 hours with my friend. Now, I suppose I should be feeling better after all that daimoku - but I don't really. Sometimes, all the noise in my head just gets in the way and it was just one of those times. My friend's chanting was throwing me off, my mind just wouldn't settle down - it's like I had all these wants and needs and I didn't know if I should chant for them all or just put it all aside. Still, the day was somewhat productive. I finally caught up to my old agent and chatted with her briefly just for some closure. I felt sad about it, I really did, but we hugged and left it at that. Then dropped some stuff off at my new agent, more stuff at the union, re-ordered more headshots, then onto the liquor store for a nice cheap bottle of shiraz. I was planning on dropping by the home to see my mum at the Hallowe'en "party" they were having at the home, but I was running late (cause my old agent is never available in the mornings... which is why she's my old agent) and I decided to just call it a day and spare myself the slow-mo geriatric entertainment.
Holed up for Hallowe'en with DH and a box of Mike and Ike candy (glorious candy!) for both of us and thought about how nice it would be if I could dress up and give treats out to little ghosts and goblins. We don't really have to worry about that living in high rise heaven. Small favours, right?
I got up early yesterday and chanted 2 hours with my friend. Now, I suppose I should be feeling better after all that daimoku - but I don't really. Sometimes, all the noise in my head just gets in the way and it was just one of those times. My friend's chanting was throwing me off, my mind just wouldn't settle down - it's like I had all these wants and needs and I didn't know if I should chant for them all or just put it all aside. Still, the day was somewhat productive. I finally caught up to my old agent and chatted with her briefly just for some closure. I felt sad about it, I really did, but we hugged and left it at that. Then dropped some stuff off at my new agent, more stuff at the union, re-ordered more headshots, then onto the liquor store for a nice cheap bottle of shiraz. I was planning on dropping by the home to see my mum at the Hallowe'en "party" they were having at the home, but I was running late (cause my old agent is never available in the mornings... which is why she's my old agent) and I decided to just call it a day and spare myself the slow-mo geriatric entertainment.
Holed up for Hallowe'en with DH and a box of Mike and Ike candy (glorious candy!) for both of us and thought about how nice it would be if I could dress up and give treats out to little ghosts and goblins. We don't really have to worry about that living in high rise heaven. Small favours, right?
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