tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064998953162723258.post7039994559196599368..comments2023-04-13T02:27:19.699-07:00Comments on A Woman My Age: The Homestudy BluesDeathstarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03925549983959400448noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064998953162723258.post-13663039779142779342007-08-31T09:49:00.000-07:002007-08-31T09:49:00.000-07:00Feeling ya. I thought once we decided to even con...Feeling ya. I thought once we decided to even consider adoption... it would be smooth sailing from there *snort*. I know why the adoption process is so invasive... but I still resent the questions and hoops I would have to jump through.Schatzihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16197247859459483613noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064998953162723258.post-57246893675101286962007-08-30T21:47:00.000-07:002007-08-30T21:47:00.000-07:00Thank you for your encouraging words, that means a...Thank you for your encouraging words, that means a lot to me.Deathstarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03925549983959400448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064998953162723258.post-89227757463699877052007-08-30T19:58:00.000-07:002007-08-30T19:58:00.000-07:00If I might be so presumptious, I think you are thi...If I might be so presumptious, I think you are thinking of open adoption like joint custody. I know that this was something I worried a lot about during the process. But the fact of the matter is that you are the parent, not because you are the one changing the diapers, but because you <B>are!</B><BR/><BR/>Firstparents are other people who love the child, but not people who are to usurp your parental role. Josie, our firstmother, held and played with Little Girl during her visit, but no more so than anyone else who visits with her does. When she started to fuss, she handed her back to me saying, "here's mommy!" We have managed to achieve clarity in our roles.<BR/><BR/>It feels like a tricky relationship, and it can be. But Josie, Mason and I are working it through together. At the end of the visit (I didn't put this in my blog because I don't believe I have the right to put her business out there without her permission) she said to me, "I wasn't sure how I was going to feel with today's visit. But it was OK. I feel as though I am visiting a dear friend or relative who had a baby and I am happy for them. I feel really OK."<BR/><BR/>It can and does work. Yet your feelings are valid and I shared them before I met Josie. In truth, even before this visit, there was a small part of me that worried that Josie and her boyfriend were going to club me over the head and steal Little Girl. Then I remembered who the Josie was that I had come to know and realized that she would slit her own throat before doing something so horrible to us. Josie has something important: honor. She is a special young woman. I'd truly adopt her as well if I could.<BR/><BR/>Keep venting and sharing your feelings. Visit some adoption boards, as you will find others struggling with similar feelings. <BR/><BR/>And yes, I still feel "less than" for not being able to get pregnant. But I wouldn't trade Zizi for all the pregnancies in the world.Teendochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09351506731552454057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064998953162723258.post-22675735988044172592007-08-30T12:28:00.000-07:002007-08-30T12:28:00.000-07:00There is that Resolve motto: children resolve chil...There is that Resolve motto: children resolve childlessness but they don't resolve infertility.<BR/><BR/>It's a difficult process--adoption--because there are big feelings involved. And I guess some of it is just trusting that it will all be okay in the end and taking a deep breath and diving into all of that information.Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064998953162723258.post-12583676123478969222007-08-30T07:33:00.000-07:002007-08-30T07:33:00.000-07:00Our pets have been trained to sleep in too...lol I...Our pets have been trained to sleep in too...lol It's crazy that infertility gives you the time to try and talk yourself out of parenting.<BR/><BR/>I have the same fears/worries about adoption.dmariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04736251577259346219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5064998953162723258.post-9595704977923617032007-08-30T07:01:00.000-07:002007-08-30T07:01:00.000-07:00You are so right...adoption doesn't cure infertili...You are so right...adoption doesn't cure infertility....very honest statement. I just know you will love your wee one SO very much when the time comes=)JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18027548058304720360noreply@blogger.com